


daddy issues

by buckyownsmylife



Category: Knives Out (2019)
Genre: F/M, Family Fights, Pregnancy, Smut, Terrible Family, self-doubt and inner struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28570824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyownsmylife/pseuds/buckyownsmylife
Summary: The one where Ransom doesn’t feel ready to become a father, but he should have thought about it before sleeping with a complete stranger.When Ransom’s latest one night stand lets him know that he’s going to become a father, he finds himself looking for the qualities he never believed to have so he can become the parent he never got to witness as a child.
Relationships: Ransom Drysdale/Reader
Comments: 38
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another series that I’m still currently writing. I just really wanted to get some feedback so I can continue to be motivated to write this story, because I’m so excited about it, but writing can become such a lonely job most of the time. Hope you guys like it!

Ransom felt at a loss for words while he stared down at the female looking patiently at him from across his desk. For once, he recognized her. Not only because she actually cut to the chase and asked _him_ to get her into his bed, but also because she was one of the best lays he’d had in his life, which meant that she managed to still seem alluring to him, something that didn’t happen very often. Most of the time, after Ransom had his way with the woman he wanted for the night, he’d wake up only to figure out that any desire he’d felt towards her had been satiated.

It was one of the reasons he was sure he’d never be in a relationship. It just didn’t make sense. He would only end up hurting whichever woman he tried to keep, because his interest would soon end up elsewhere.

The same couldn’t be said about the girl who had asked for a meeting with him and was currently waiting for any sort of reaction to what she had come to share. First, besides having earned his respect from the moment he tried to pick her up at the bar, he’d woken up not to find her anywhere in his house. That very rarely, if almost ever, happened. He was used to having to ask one of his people to send the girls he slept with their own way because they’d try to prolong their experience with him in hopes to get an actual relationship out of him. Well, tough luck.

Second, she hadn’t even left him a number or a note, something the few girls who had left him in bed made sure to do. Ransom felt like he’d finally found someone who understood that the night they had shared was only that, one night, but paradoxically, that made him intrigued. He found himself wondering about the mysterious woman, pondering if maybe she would be capable of interesting him a little more than most did. At the very least, he knew that if he ever met her at a bar again, he’d try to take her back to his place once more. At least once more.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for her to look for him in the office he had in his grandfather’s company, where she had come to tell him that she was pregnant with his child.

Several minutes had been spent in an awkward silence between them, while she waited for him to say something. At long last, he settled for an irritated mistrust, because the truth was, he had no idea what to do and for once in his life, he felt lost.

“And it’s mine?” The way the woman sighed before running a hand over her face made it clear she understood the tone with which those words had been uttered. Unfortunately for Ransom, however, her patience had worn thin.

“Look, Ransom. I haven’t slept with anyone else since we fucked last month and that was my first night of sex in a very long time. I know it’s yours, but I’m completely okay with doing a paternity test if you want to. The fact of the matter is that I’m only here because I feel like you have the right to know about the existence of any offspring you come to create, but I’m not asking for permission, support or anything else from you. I’m having this kid whether you like it or not, and I most definitely don’t expect any financial compensation from you. If you’d like to take part in this kid’s life, hell, if you want to be around for the pregnancy in itself, you’re welcome to, but as far as I’m concerned, unless you look for me, I don’t intend on seeing you ever again.” With that, she pushed away from the chair she had been sitting and stood up, but not before fishing out a business card from her pocket and dropping it on his desk, leaving without another word.

Ransom picked the card up, turning it around before waiting for a bit until the words made sense to him again.

_Y/N Y/L/N_

_PhD Professor of Law_

_XXX - XXXXX_

Well, at least he knew that his child would be well educated.


	2. Chapter 2

Y/N Y/L/N wasn’t having a great day, but since most of her stress could be pinpointed to events that had happened over thirty days before, I guess you could argue that she wasn’t having a great couple of months. And she’d argue, she was a professor of Law, after all.

The truth was that it all had started over a month ago and she wanted to punch a lot of people for influencing her decisions that led her to this day, alone in her flat and pregnant, after confronting the father of her unborn child, of whom she knew next to nothing about.

The first person she’d like to blame was her idiotic colleague, Professor Steve motherfucking Rogers. He had been making her life miserable ever since she stepped foot in the university and refused his invitation for a date, but last month he had made it specifically difficult for her to ignore him.

Like, moving into her office difficult.

Of course, she was expecting to have to share the space, but the idea was that the next new professor that joined the staff would be the one to move into her office and not one of the professors who *already had an office but decided that the location was inadequate for him. 

It was literally right down the hallway.

So Y/N now had to see him every day, as opposed to the weekly staff meetings which used to be the only time she’d have to deal with him. And it just so happened that immediately after moving in, he decided it was time to start hitting on her again.

It’s not like Steve wasn’t attractive, that was actually part of the problem. He was very handsome and that, paired with his smooth-talking and his incredible bright eyes, made it very difficult for her to continually tell him no. She had the hunch that he knew it, and that was why he kept insisting.

But you see, there was a reason why she had refused him, and the reason was that she didn’t want to date someone she had to work with. And she was glad that she had created that rule for herself, because it helped her see that Steve didn’t meet another of her very important rules: he didn’t respect her space.

So that is why her best friend, Ana, was the second person she wanted to hit. Because after sharing with her what her week had been like ever since Steve managed to move into her office, her friend decided the best way for her to let off some steam would be to go to a bar, get drunk, and find someone to go home with.

Now, Y/N hadn’t disagreed, despite the fact that the bar scene wasn’t necessarily her favorite spot to be at on a Friday night. But she was in a new city and it was time to try new things, so she accepted her friend’s soft push and accompanied her to a posh place called “La Manda”, which ended up being much fancier than she was expecting.

She quickly realized that was the reason for Ana demanding her to wear her favorite black dress. At least her friend had prevented her from being underdressed, but since her clothing wasn’t designer-made, she still felt a bit out of place. Everyone looked *expensive, and that was definitely something she was not.

Still, she had agreed to come out with her friend and she was already there. There was no reason to back out now. So she swallowed down her fears and ignored her discomfort, and ordered a martini to sip while they gossiped. At least the alcohol was always there to help her in awkward social situations.

Only an hour into the evening, Ana caught the eye of a handsome dark-haired man, and Y/N was many things, but a cockblock wasn’t one of them. So she insisted that her friend should accompany him to his place and assured her she’d be fine on her own. Ana had left with the stranger, but only after making her promise she’d stay for a bit and try to meet someone so she could have some fun, too.

That wasn’t a promise Y/N intended to keep, but Ana didn’t need to know that. All that mattered was that she didn’t stand in the way of her friend getting laid tonight. So the plan was for Y/N to finish her drink - she’d been on her second martini when the guy appeared, now she was halfway through her third - and she would bolt. 

Yeah. That was the plan. But what Y/N wasn’t expecting was for a gentleman to take a seat by her side at the bar and win her over with his cocky remarks and good looks. He wasn’t the type of guy she would go on a date with - it was clear that he thought too much of himself and Y/N could never bear people who thought money made them interesting - but she had to admit that he would be a good stress relief, and she was in desperate need of one.

When she cut to the chase and asked him if he was interested in taking her home, the look of surprise on his face was hilarious. Guess despite his handsome features, he wasn’t used to women who knew what they wanted and were clear about it. But Y/N had always treated sex just as it was: a human need that could be easily satisfied should two people agree on it. 

After laying it out in the open that all she wanted was a one-night stand, and he shouldn’t really look for her for anything more than that, the guy practically pounced on her, like her honesty was some type of foreplay for him. It almost made her laugh. But then his fingers found her clothed core under her dress and she almost choked, immediately jumping on him to take his lips with hers. 

Ransom - she’d learned his name during introductions, but wasn’t too worried about remembering it - took her to his place and she had to admit it was easily one of the best nights she’d ever spent with a partner. Then again, he had that kind of personality that made it clear he was well-experienced in bed, so she wasn’t too preoccupied about being disappointed. Come morning, however, she left before he woke up, only stopping to collect her purse that had been carefully deposited on a side table by the front door.

Her morning laziness had been the thing that saved her from a lot of trouble, for at the moment she pulled the bag, it brought down with it a pile of mail that had been sitting underneath it without her noticing it. When she bent down to pick it up, she caught sight of the name written on the delivery address. 

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale,” she had thought. “Huh. Guess I just slept with the playboy millionaire that’s being forced to take over his family’s publishing company.” And that was all that she expected to learn from him. When she took an Uber back to her place, she never thought she would be desperately googling his name in a little over a month, in an effort to figure out the address of where he worked. 

Guess life really has a way of fucking us all up when we least expect it.


	3. Chapter 3

Leaving work later that day, Ransom was submerged in his own thoughts in a way he hadn’t been ever since he was a teen. Of course, his family - with the exception of his grandfather - thought he didn’t have much in his head, but the truth was that sometimes, he felt like he had too much. So, in an effort not to lose his mind, he decided to let it all go just before he turned fifteen. Everything. Every preoccupation, his mother’s expectations, his fear of never being good enough.  
That had served him well up until a couple of months ago. Sure, it meant that he’d created quite a reputation for himself and he’d been involved in one too many drunk endeavors he would have preferred not to be associated with, but at least he had something to share, stories to tell. That would ultimately be extremely beneficial to him if he ever did decide to take his grandfather’s advice and write a book.  
But then came the news that Harlan would cut him out of the will if he didn’t get his act together, along with the proposal that he should take over the publishing company, since his uncle was being reallocated to another family business, and he thought to himself, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the time to settle back and become what he’d dreaded so much. Maybe it’s time for him to forget about fun and amusement and discover what exactly was so great about maturing.  
So he accepted the job and tried to focus on what he was supposed to be doing. Who he was supposed to be. It seemed like the right thing to do after he’d spent so long trying to run from any sort of difficulty in life. It seemed like he owed his grandfather at least that. But over the next few months, it became increasingly difficult to fulfill his duties without seriously reconsidering everything he had been before and everything he had tried to avoid thinking about, which had lead to his admittedly stupid impulsive behavior.  
Ransom was in his late thirties now, and he was only starting to realize just how messed up he was. And that meant that the last thing he thought himself capable of becoming right now was a father.  
Actually, Ransom had never even considered the possibility of ever becoming one. I mean, he liked the part that came before, very much in fact, but despite his playboy ways, he’d always been very careful about using a condom, especially since he didn’t want to deal with precisely the type of problem he was going through right now. But of course, even he knew that condoms failed and with his luck (and the amount of sexual partner he’d had) it was only a matter of time until it happened.  
Fuck. What the hell was he going to do? It’s not like he even had a proper parental figure to learn from, considering his father was an even lousier son-of-a-bitch than him and his mother was a controlling freak. What was he going to do?  
Ransom was startled when he realized he was nowhere near his house when he’d finally been able to snap out from his thoughts. In fact, his feet had taken him in the opposite direction, and he found himself easily following the familiar path to his grandfather’s house.  
Just as the castle-like mansion appeared in front of him, he sighed, looking up at the window of Harlan’s office. It seemed like he was awake. He wondered what his grandfather would have to say about this situation. Harlan managed to be even more unpredictable than Ransom most times.  
Still, Ransom knew that if there was ever someone who was capable of giving him any advice he’d actually follow, it was him.  
Harlan, of course, knew something was up the second Ransom stepped foot in his room. He’d always been the one person capable of reading his grandson, and that meant he was probably the only one who actually somewhat understood him.  
“Well, Ransom, it’s very nice of you to come and visit me when there’s no family dinner forcing you to, but care to share what actually made you drive all the way here? I know it has nothing to do with the company, otherwise, I would have already heard about it from one of the managers.”  
Ransom couldn’t really be surprised about Harlan and his knowledge of him, so he settled for some feeling kind of comfort at knowing at least someone in this world could see right through him and actually cared enough to ask about his problems.  
“I… I got someone pregnant.” The words came out weirdly easily, and it felt like some of the weight that’d been placed on him had now disappeared. He raised his eyes to meet Harlan’s, after his grandfather didn’t offer any immediate reaction, and the anticipation made him grow irritated again.  
He really should learn other automatic responses.  
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Harlan took a deep breath before answering, a tiny smile playing on his lips.  
“What are you expecting me to say? Congratulations or I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner?” The young man rolled his eyes, impulsively getting up from his seat to pace around the room. His mind was failing him, he couldn’t hold on to a single thought for more than a millisecond. He’d come all the way here in the hopes that Harlan would know what to do, the right thing to say to shed some light on the mess that was his mind, but he should have known better. That was not how his grandfather worked.  
But his grandfather knew how *he worked. So he patiently waited, watching with piercing attention as Ransom tried to get a grip over his thoughts. He knew his grandson would need time, but he would voice his concerns sooner or later. And then, he’d be able to actually help, once he determined what precisely was Ransom’s problem with the entire situation.  
“I’m not father material,” the young man suddenly blurted out, running his fingers through his hair and inadvertently messing his usually impeccable styling. Harlan smiled to himself, knowing only a year before this would never happen, not without his grandson suddenly leaping towards the nearest reflective surface just to adjust his hair. He’d changed so much already, but he still was overcome by doubts. “I don’t think… I think the baby would be better off not knowing me.”  
And there it was. That overwhelming sense of insecurity was the reason for Ransom being the way he was. No matter how hard he tried to run away from it, pretend it wasn’t there, Harlan knew his grandson too well. And now that he was starting to change his life, facing his biggest problem was going to happen sooner or later. Since there was a baby in question, thank God it was sooner rather than later.  
“My boy, I understand why you would think that. It’s not like you have had great parental examples to guide you in such a journey, and I even accept my part of the blame in that. But I think you have the wrong idea of what being a parent truly is like. No matter how it may seem to our kids, no single adult suddenly is struck by the obvious guidelines of how to be a perfect parent. We figure out as we go, and we make mistakes along the way. A lot of them. So I think the question that really matters here is… do *you want to be around to witness your child grow? Or would you be okay never really knowing what became of him or her?”  
Harlan braced himself for the answer, knowing it would deeply affect him one way or another, but also aware that he couldn’t let Ransom see what his reaction would be like. It would only make the younger man angry. It was important for him to think he was the only one in charge of his decisions, and the only one affected by them.  
When it became clear that Ransom was too lost in his own mind to come out with an answer just yet, his grandfather pressed on. “Look, Ransom, parenting is a skill, just like writing. Some people are born naturally talented, others have to rise to the occasion. You just have to figure out if you’re up for the challenge, because if you aren’t… I think it’d be best if you let them be.”  
A few more seconds of heavy silence where Ransom still wouldn’t meet his eyes passed, and Harlan decided to ask, “Tell me, is *she ‘mother material’?” His grandson took a deep breath, once more running his fingers through his hair before admitting, “I don’t know. I barely know her at all. But she’s a professor. Of law, out of anything. And she seemed… good. Better than me, at least, and that’s a relief.”  
The older man couldn’t help but laugh at how Ransom’s sense of humor tended to show its face in the weirdest of situations. He knew what his grandson should do, that he’d regret not giving this a try, but he also knew no good could come from trying to force Ransom into doing something when he wasn’t ready for or didn’t want to do it. So all he could do was wait, and hope the younger man would find the right answer by himself.  
“I think I know what I want to do.”  
Harlan couldn’t help but notice the sparkle in Ransom’s eye as he left the house without even remembering to say goodbye.  



	4. Chapter 4

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Okay, I’m here now. What was the important thing you had to tell me about?” Ana’s arrival startled me, and I almost spilled some of the hot chocolate I had been clinging to like a lifeline while I waited for her arrival. I’d never been one to really crave the sweet drink when it wasn’t near Christmas, but I guess things really were starting to feel different now.

I took a deep breath while I waited for my friend to place her order, trying to get my nerves in check. It’d been a few hours since I stormed out of Ransom’s office and I still felt my heartbeat slightly out of pace, begging me to look for dangers lurking in the shadows that weren’t really there.

This would be my first time telling someone who was already a part of my life about the new one I was supposed to bring into the world. Ana was a mock test for how I would tell my parents about the baby, and the fact that apparently, there would be no other parent in sight.

The thought had me looking at my phone, as if some part of me was still waiting for Ransom to reach out. It’d only been half a day. It was okay if he needed more time to figure things out - this wasn’t exactly easy news to bear, I would know. It took me more than a few hours to process everything. 

But still, I was surprised that there was a part of me that believed he would actually want to be a part of this. I didn’t know a lot about him, but from what I did read while searching for his work address, he didn’t seem like the type of guy who would bother showing up as a parent.

“Hello? Are you still there?” Once again I was awakened from my thoughts by Ana’s sweet voice, this time paired with a concerned face. “Okay, now I’m worried. What is it exactly that you need to tell me? Did something happen?”

Okay, here it goes.

“I’m pregnant.”

After the understandable fit of laughter when she immediately assumed I was joking, the following guilty apology for not believing in me and the incessant questioning about how the situation had come to be, I was finally done talking and the reality of what was happening seemed to finally be settling in on her.

“Oh my God, you’re actually pregnant. With Ransom Drysdale’s baby.” Instinctively, my hands covered my belly, even though it was in no way, shape or form, any different from how it looked like just a month ago.

“Excuse me? I’m pregnant with my own child. Ransom might choose to be a part of it, but it’s still mine, I’m not just a carrier for his genes.” Something in the look she sent me had my insides freezing, and I immediately felt vulnerable. “What?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but seemed to think better and shook her head, looking down at her drink instead, but I needed to know. So I reached out and put my hand over hers, so she’d know to look me in the eye again. “What?” I repeated, and even though she took a deep breath to gather her courage, she ended up spilling out anyway.

“I just don’t think you should get your hopes up about him wanting to be a part of this, that’s all.” The sentence surprised me, even though I wasn’t getting my hopes up anyway. It just seemed like there was something she knew, something that made her 100% certain about him not deciding to call me that had my stomach in knots.

It seemed like, even though I didn’t want to admit it, the thought of doing this completely alone terrified me.

“Why?” Again, Ana seemed to hesitate. Still, it seemed like she knew this was something I needed to hear, because after taking a sip of her drink, she launched right at it.

“He’s just not the type, hun. You just moved here, so you don’t know, but he’s always been a screw-up. Everyone was so surprised when he actually decided to settle down with his trust fund, playboy lifestyle and assume his grandfather’s company. I still don’t think he actually works there, anyway. He’s probably just the face of the business, so he’d stop openly doing stuff that’d hurt his family’s name.”

I had heard of Ransom before, of course - hence why the name was recognizable to me that morning at his place. Right after I moved, his takeover became the main story in the local news, and the way it was portrayed by the press made it very clear that the surprising aspect of it was how this wasn’t something to be expected of him. But I thought the bad parts of his story had been a thing of the past - he was a man now. I mean, I never would have slept with him if he wasn’t so clearly older than thirty, maybe even thirty-five. Just how immature could a man in that age really be?

Apparently, a lot. Ana told me as much about his not-so-ancient past as she possibly could, before she had to leave to get ready for a date, and then I was left with a running mind and my fully-charged phone to google the shit out of him, finding much more than I ever thought I could possibly discover on the internet.

Guess finding someone’s work address really isn’t a big deal when their dick is out for the world to see.

Sitting with all of that information only made Ana’s parting words resonate even more through me. “No reason to feel down about it, hun! He’s definitely not worth it. Even if he did end up wanting this child anyway, he’s not really fit to become a father, anyway.”

Maybe it would have been easier to digest all of that if she’d managed to sleep on it and work through her issues in the morning, like she usually did. But all her plans for the evening went downhill when she arrived home in the pouring rain, to find Ransom waiting for her just outside her apartment’s door.


	5. Chapter 5

Ransom’s P.O.V.

“Last time I saw you this wet, I had to work a bit harder for it.” I figured it was the wrong thing to say immediately after the words left my lips, when she rolled her eyes before pushing into her apartment, barely even glancing behind her to let me in. Still, I supposed I could join her and so I did, walking behind her and closing the door behind me to glance around the place she lived.

It was diametrically the opposite to my house, but surprisingly, I didn’t hate it. It felt… inviting. Like someone actually lived in it, something my mother would have certainly hated and thought looked poor - despite the way her own father liked to decorate the house she grew up in. I don’t know if that was why I instantly liked it, but it certainly did make me feel more at ease.

I decided not to take off my coat, though, seeing as she still hadn’t actually acknowledged me being in her space. Perhaps it was best not to look like I was ready to invade every aspect of her life.

She was standing by the electric fireplace, trying to warm up, I realized just as she took off her own coat, and I automatically licked my lips at the sight of the curves of her body, highlighted by the way her wet clothes clung to her figure. Fuck, she still turned me on, and she wasn’t even actively trying to - just as she’d done the night we met. The thought that pretty soon her belly would grow - with my child - only made me even hornier.

“Maybe you should just strip,” I suggested, watching her shiver by the fake warmth, and again, she just threw me an irritated look, to which I could only shrug. “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” So maybe I did want to see her naked again. I also knew there was no way in hell she would manage to warm up while still wearing those drenched clothes.

“How did you figure out where I lived, anyway?” She decided to ignore my comments, wrapping both arms around herself instead. I noted it with a raised eyebrow but just shrugged again.

“Guess I have my ways.” I knew the conversation would drop before I even finished my sentence, and I knew I’d been the one to come here, looking for her, but then again… I came here, looking for her. What else did she want from me?

“What do you want, then?” Ah. There it was. She really was pretending she never asked me to look for her if I wanted to be a part of our child’s life. The urge to roll my eyes was too strong to be contained, and the second I fixed my gaze on her again, I knew she hadn’t appreciated it.

Flashbacks of my mother screaming at my lack of respect had my defenses strengthening, and suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but there. Why had I come here anyway? I felt stupid. But a single look at the woman staring at me with her arms crossed reminded me that I wanted this. I wanted to be a father, and I needed to let her know that.

“What do you mean, what do I want? You looked for me in my office. I’m here to let you know I want to be a part of its life.” The way her arms fell slightly, almost as if to cover her belly, didn’t go unnoticed by me, just as the way she narrowed her eyes at me.

“Well, they haven’t been born yet, if you haven’t noticed it.” Now it was my turn to narrow my eyes at her, besides scoffing at her own defensiveness. What the fuck was going on here? Why was she acting like I’d deeply offended her without even realizing it? I knew she hadn’t planned for this child, but neither had I. She couldn’t possibly be angry at me for getting her pregnant, could she?

“So what? I’m just supposed to wait? And you’ll drop me a note when it’s born?” When she shrugged, fires of anger rose inside my chest, and my hands curled into fists, needing some kind of release so I wouldn’t just scream at the mother of my child and ruined any kind of friendly relationship we could eventually have.

“I didn’t sign up for you becoming a part of my life. You want to be a part of theirs, that’s great for you, that doesn’t mean you are entitled to anything in mine.” I was certain my eyebrows were furrowed to such an extent it would create a permanent crease on my forehead, and yet, at that moment, I couldn’t find it in myself to care.

“I think that’s pretty much part of the deal, huh? Neither of us signed up for any of this, but we’re gonna have to learn how to deal with it. I have the right to be a part of your pregnancy.”

At the sight of her almost automatically shaking her head, I scoffed again, but she pressed on. “I barely know you, Ransom. I definitely don’t know you enough to trust you with concerns over my body, and trust isn’t something that can be built overnight. I may have some of your DNA inside of me right now, but that’s about all I know of you.”

I remained quiet after she was done speaking, for the first time taking in her stance with different eyes. She was hugging her own body, bottom lip trapped between her teeth, eyes glossy as she forced herself to stare me down. It was easy to see her discomfort, to read it as anger or resentment. But in a moment of clarity, I saw it for what it truly was: a woman who was scared and didn’t know how to deal with what life had thrown at her yet. I guess in her powerful and confident stance, I’d forgotten this truly was an unpredictable turn of events for her too.

“You’re right,” I relented, averting my eyes and trying to think of how I could get her to warm up to me. The first step seemed obvious enough. “If that’s what you want, I’ll keep to myself.” I fished out a contact card from my pocket, leaving it on a nearby coffee table. “If you change your mind, or if there’s anything you ever need, please consider calling me. I’ll be waiting for it.”

And with those last words, I left her in an effort to respect her space, even though every bone in my body was screaming at me to stay.


	6. Chapter 6

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Stupid fucking cravings. I thought I’d be free from worrying about stuff like that for at least another month, but I knew next to nothing about pregnancy, and the fact that I still hadn’t really allowed myself to process the fact that I was carrying a baby stopped me from doing any research about it.

When the need for a Carbury caramel chocolate bar hit me with such an intensity that had me asking the cab driver to turn around and take me to the fancy store on the other side of town, I was faced with the reality that this was it. Everything really was about to change, and it was stupid of me not to prepare for it. So I vowed to myself that I would go back to my house with a few delicious treats and start by doing some internet research, just to dip my feet in it.

So unfamiliarized with this particular store, which I’d only visited once before - the day when I found out they sold these particular delicacies I was so adamant in finding - I didn’t pay much attention to my surroundings, my focus etched solely on the signs above me. “Cleaning products… Laundry products… Chips… Aha!”

And just when I was about to turn into the correct aisle, I collided with something larger than me, almost falling down if it weren’t for two strong arms that held me tight. “Careful there.” The rich voice had my head whipping up automatically, eyes meeting Ransom’s and mimicking his own expression of surprise. 

“Oh… Thanks, I didn’t see where I was going.” After seeing that I was capable of standing on my own, Ransom just nodded, hands going back to what seemed to be their usual position, inside his long coat. 

“Yeah, I noticed. Better watch out, next time.” A nervous chuckle left my lips and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to keep my eyes on him or take in the environment around me, this entire situation just seeming entirely too coincidental not to make me question if I wasn’t in some sort of prank show.

It also didn’t help that my traitorous body decided to come alive at the feeling of his touch on me. How long had it been since I got laid? Oh, yeah. Since I managed to get knocked up. Guess I could blame that one on him, too.

“I don’t think there’ll be a next time,” I nervously joked, but I saw it on the way he raised one of his eyebrows that he thought it was a swipe at him, like I was saying I really didn’t want to see him again. Oh, God. I really did put my foot on my mouth that day. “I just don’t come here very often,” I raced to explain, my hands waving all over the place as I usually did when I was blabbing without much thought.

Now two of his eyebrows were close to his hairline, and I hoped it wasn’t because he was only now realizing how much of an idiot I was. As intelligent and decided I could be when it came to my professional life - and instances in my personal life when I rehearsed for it - this was who I really was, on the inside. Just a silly woman, who got much too embarrassed about little things at times.

“I can understand, considering that you live on the other side of town.” I just shrugged, suddenly remembering that he knew - he’d been to my place, after all. Even if I still didn’t know how he figured out where I lived. Guess rich people just had their ways.

“Yeah… This is just the only place that has this chocolate I’ve been craving.” His body language changed at that, and whereas before his feet had been pointed towards the exit, he turned completely towards me, fully immersed in the conversation.

“Oh, so those have started, huh? You know, you could always give me a call. I live near here, I work close to you. I could drop them off for you, whenever you’d like.” The offering completely dumbfounded me. I was not expecting that at all. Especially after the way I’d behaved the last time we saw each other. I’d been meaning to call him and ask to meet for coffee so we could work something out - I definitely owed him an apology - and the way he was behaving only highlighted just how wrong I was for letting Ana’s words guide how I treated him.

“I… I will. Thanks.” I just stood there for a while, looking at him, taking him in. The itch to do something to make up for how I behaved was overwhelming, and I found myself proposing before I even took a second to consider it, “Would you like to share some with me? Tonight, I mean?”

His eyes widened before I felt the weight of his gaze as he skimmed my body. I saw him lick his lower lip and glance at something in the distance before nodding. “Sure. Need to know exactly what sort of chocolate it is that’s getting you like this, huh? Maybe I’ll even share the craving, too.”

His words made me giggle, relieved that I would maybe be able to construct some sort of friendly relationship with the father of my child, even if I still wasn’t ready to have him in on everything about my pregnancy yet.

I was so excited to get me some chocolate and maybe work on erasing the awkwardness between us that I never noticed the way he lingered behind, glancing over his shoulder to a long-legged blonde, before shrugging. I did however notice the smirk on his lips as he directed me towards his car while I babbled about chocolate and sweets and how much I was looking forward to stuffing my face with the caramel goodness once we got to my place. But I thought it was just because of me.


	7. Chapter 7

Ransom’s P.O.V.

“You okay there?” The way she clenched and unclenched her thighs at the sex scene we’d been watching was difficult to miss, especially since all I seemed to be able to do was to keep staring at her.

Her head whipped to the side to meet my eyes, and then an embarrassed smile appeared on her face. “Yeah, I’m getting really sensitive…” She trailed off then, attention turning back to the television while I analyzed her some more. I was still so curious about this woman, beyond the fact that she was carrying my child. I wanted to sleep with her again, I wanted to be sure of why I didn’t get her off my system after that first night.

And even if the last time I was here she didn’t particularly enjoy my joking advances, things seemed to have changed now. She invited me to her place. She looked like she needed some help. She admitted that she was needy, so I guess there was no harm to try.

“I can only imagine,” I started, shifting on the couch so my body was completely turned to hers. “You screamed so much that night. I wonder just how loud I could get you right now.” Her sharp inhale resonated throughout the room, and I openly smirked.

“C’mon, darling.” I leaned over her, my hot breath on her face as I put my hand on her knee, just subtly prying her legs open. “You know I’d be so good to you. Wasn’t it good before?” I saw the moment her resolve broke, the second she thought ‘fuck it’ and closed the distance between us. 

Having her lips on mine again reminded me of just how badly I’d wanted her that night, just like I wanted her right now. “Fuck, you want me to touch you?” I asked, licking her bottom lip while pulling her to my lap. “I really wanna touch you, sweetheart.”

The way she looked up at me from under her eyelashes had my breath hitching as I waited for her answer. “Take me to bed, Ransom.” No other words were exchanged as I took her to where I assumed her bedroom to be, and then once I was there, it was only a matter of slowly taking off her clothes, kissing her shoulder, making sure to caress every single inch of her.

As she became naked, it was clear that my desire for her was still in no way sated, and I didn’t know what she was doing to me. I wasn’t a man of second one-night-stands. “Can I taste you, baby?” The pet name escaped easily from my mouth, going unnoticed by both me and her as I knelt before her in bed, spreading her legs for my hungry gaze. “I didn’t have the chance last time.”

It took a simple nod to have me burying my face on her sweet cunt, lapping the juices that were already flowing from her. She didn’t lie, she really was sensitive. That much was obvious by the broken moan she released when I abandoned her hole to suck on her clit, relishing in the taste of her that made me hum against her pussy.

“You’re delicious, darling.” Her moans were everything to me. They made me feel dizzy, my cock throbbing inside my pants regardless of the fact that I hadn’t even given it any attention yet.

And then I added my fingers to the mix, pushing them into her and watching how her cunt eagerly swallowed my digits, so enthralled by the scene that it really had me desperate to make her cum. “Look at how well you take my fingers…” I commented, immediately curling them up in search of her sweet spot. “I remember how this pussy felt around my cock… Can’t wait to feel it again.”

“Ransom…” She whined, reaching out to me. “I need you.” Well, I wouldn’t ever tell her no. So I decided to skip undressing completely and instead worked my pants open just enough so I could get my cock out.

“Guess we don’t have to worry about condoms anymore, huh?” I teased, rubbing the head of my member on her clit, but that seemed to be the wrong thing to say - yet again. In a flash, her eyes had grown twice their size and she was pushing me away from her, before sitting up on the bed.

“Excuse me? I don’t want any DSTs!” My mouth opened but I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to feel offended, but she did have a point there. It’d been a while since my last doctor’s appointment. And I wasn’t that great at remembering to carry preservatives with me.

The clock was ticking as she waited for any sort of reaction from me, but I was lost. And then, it was too late. 

“Look, let’s just… forget this ever happened. I think it’s for the best.” She sighed, running a hand over her hair but not bothering to cover her body from me. And then her eyes ran over my body, not betraying any emotions when she ordered, “Put your dick away.”

I left her place once more dissatisfied, only this time, I did not know where we stood. But it wasn’t looking good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your reminder to practice safe sex regardless of your ability/desire to have children 😉


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey, are you busy?” I huffed as I heard Ransom’s voice, especially the concerned tone he was using. It’s not like I didn’t believe he actually wanted to have a serious conversation with me, but more as in I did not want to have that conversation right now, not when I could still remember the night we *almost shared oh-so-well.

“Yes, can’t talk right now.” And that’s all I said before I hung up on him, knowing I was being impolite, but honestly too busy to care. Classes had started and considering next term I probably wouldn’t be here to take care of my usual courses, I had to leave somewhat of a very structured syllabus behind for who was supposed to sub for me.

Days went by where it was pretty much the same. Ransom would call me, I’d give him an excuse to hang up, and then I’d throw myself into work, still adamant on ignoring the fact that a whole human was growing inside of me. I had to schedule a doctor’s appointment, I knew that, but the thought of going there alone and the reality of the situation suddenly hitting me was just too much.

I should have known it was only a matter of time until Ransom grew tired of my efforts to dodge his calls, though.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my mouth hanging open as he walked into my office. When I heard the knocks, I expected it was another student who still hadn’t figured out my office hours yet, so to see him in my work environment was particularly shocking.

The man in question just shrugged, like it was absolutely no big deal that he was in the same environment where I usually planned my courses. “You didn’t answer your phone. I need to talk to you.”

“You can’t keep showing up in random places that you know I’ll be in! First my house, now my workplace…” He actually flinched at my complaint, for the first time since I met him seeming genuinely aware of his mistake.

“I know. I’m sorry. I really needed to talk to you and you wouldn’t answer your phone. I figured coming here would be less invasive than just showing up at your apartment again.” The fact that he actually put thought behind this and considered my feelings about it actually disarmed me.

He was right, this was less invasive than having in my home, considering I did not plan on seeing him at all. This was my work environment, somewhere I always felt empowered in, and not the place where I walked around in pajamas and would hide at when I was in my most vulnerable state.

“Are you gonna throw me out?” He asked me, vulnerability written all over his expression, and I was thrown off whatever wagon I had intended to ride the next time I met with Ransom again.

“No.” The word sounded tired even to my own ears, and that’s because I was. I was tired of running, tired of hiding, tired of being aggressive and dismissive towards someone I knew I would have to eventually work with. I pointed the chair in front of me for him to sit, chuckling to myself as I rubbed my eyes when I realized the perfect irony of this situation. He was the one in my office now.

For a few seconds, we just stared at each other. I was waiting for him to talk - he was the one who seemed so desperate to talk to me, anyway - but it seemed like he needed the time to gather his courage.

Once he started, though… It was clear that he’d been mulling this over for a long time.

“I know you barely know me, and the stuff you do know has probably introduced you to the worst possible version of me… I can’t even say that’s not true. For a long time, that was all I was and all I wanted to be.” He took a minute to breathe, and I patiently waited for him to continue. If anything, it was obvious he was speaking from the heart, and I wanted him to know that I highly appreciated him lowering his defenses for a while to actually let me see who he really was.

“Still, as the man you think I am, I ask for you to give me a chance. Please, listen to me. Don’t do this. Don’t lock me out, don’t keep me away from you and this pregnancy. I can do better. I can *be better. Maybe this kid is exactly what I needed to get my act together. I was able to fix my work behavior, it was my personal life that missed… something to work towards.”

My hand had fallen over my belly, protectively shielding my child from what I’d briefly considered he’d present as a lab experiment for his own self-improvement, but then I understood. I’d seen this before on my research about him - his actions weren’t completely careless and egoistic, they were his response to the internal anguish he had lived through, of not having anything to aspire towards.

“And I really want to be around for this. I want to be around for you. I don’t want my only participation to be… sperm donor.” And there, for the first time since we met, Ransom Drysdale made me laugh with his defense mechanism of joking around emotional moments. 

It seemed like my laughter eased some of the tension in the room, and he even smiled as he continued, “I can’t promise I’ll do a good job. I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do, but I will try my very best - and that’s more than I’ve been willing to do my entire life. I want to be better, for our child and for you. Because you deserve that. You deserve someone to help you go through this too.”

Try as I might, I could not stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks by the end of his speech. I’d blame the pregnancy, even though I knew that was only half of it. The relief was just… indescribable. This is exactly what I’d prayed to have when I found out I was pregnant to a man I barely knew.

And so I reached out for his hand, wanting him to know just how much I meant what I was about to say. “Listen, I screwed up too. I let gossip get the best of me. The truth is, I’m scared of relying on someone and then having to figure it all out by myself, once again. So I need us to start small, okay? Maybe if we build this friendship on a foundation that’s different from the pregnancy, I can start to trust you with it, too.”

He nodded understandingly, lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but I beat him to it. “Would you like to meet me at the bar tonight? Ana has been bugging me to go and I promised I’d accompany her there tonight. I think it’s more your scene than a night in with chocolate and movies.”

His mouth closed at that, and he laughed, eyes crinkling with humor as he nodded at my words. “You are right. That does sound good to me.” We stayed like that for a while, just relishing in each other’s presence. “So, meet you there?” He asked, and I could see there were still some underlying trust issues there. I did spend the last week avoiding him, though.

So I squeezed his hand before confirming, “Meet you there tonight.”


	9. Chapter 9

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Can’t believe you invited Ransom Drysdale to come to the bar with us.” I rolled my eyes, already used to Ana’s whining, and turned away from the bar to scoop my surroundings. Still no sign of him. But it was early, and he’d warned me he probably wouldn’t be able to get here until at least 8pm, so really, I shouldn’t be looking for him like some sort of lovesick teenager.

I didn’t even know why I was so eager to see him again.

“He’s the father of my child, what did you expect me to do?” That finally had Ana looking away from her shots to glance at my body, perfectly squeezed in one of my tightest dresses, showing just enough cleavage and legs to make it one of my favorite get-lucky items in my wardrobe.

“You’re right. I keep forgetting the reason he’s in your life is because you’re pregnant. Seriously, I was about to offer you a shot and everything!” I shook my head, chuckling to myself at her ways. “I mean, can you blame me? It’s not like you’ve started showing or anything!”

Well, she had a point there. It was also the reason why 1) I had agreed to come out with her tonight and 2) chose this dress to wear. I had to take advantage of this body while it was still like this. Soon enough, I’d be too heavy to handle high heels or crowded pubs, not to mention the fact that I would most definitely not fit into these already uncomfortably tight outfits.

“I’ll give you that,” I grinned, tapping her hand teasingly, like I was trying to calm her down. “Sometimes I forget it too. What the fuck is he doing here?” I added as a familiar man made his way into the bar, Ana’s head whipping around to look at where I was staring at a blond, well-built guy, grinning widely at me. 

“Who’s that?” I was too busy grinding my teeth together as I watched him approach, but as he came closer and closer to where we were standing, I knew it was better to let her know who he was right off the bat, so she could help me try to keep him away.

“Steven fucking Rogers.” Ana’s exclamation of surprise was cut short by his arrival, his stupidly handsome face going from me to her as if he waited for a formal introduction. “What are you doing here, Rogers?” My usual irritation at his presence was intensified by a thousand, and I had no idea why. Even he seemed surprised, if his eyebrows raised high were any indication.

As much as I made sure to avoid him, I’d never had any reason to be outwardly aggressive towards him before.

“Same as you, minus the dress.” He made a show out of undressing me with his eyes, and I rolled mine while fighting off the urge to dry heave. Why do men just assume our choice in clothing has anything to do with what we actually intend to do for the evening?

“You know, for someone who’s a university professor, you can be pretty daft.” Unfortunately for me, my comment only made the man towering over my smaller frame start to laugh. “Excuse me, I’m gonna see if Ransom texted me,” I told Ana, while giving Steve a side-eye as I made my way towards the back of the bar. 

There was a door to some sort of patio, and so that’s where I went, breathing in relief at the absence of loud music, as the walls made it pretty muted back here. The nice, cold air of the evening was also a blessing. 

I looked at the purse on my shoulder and considered if I actually wanted to reach out to Ransom. It was only half past seven, there was a lot of time for him to get here and absolutely no reason for me to make myself look like a clingy girlfriend. I just needed an excuse to put some distance between Steve and I.

But just as I thought that my mission had been accomplished, the sounds of the bar became louder, indicating someone had opened the door and joined me out here. Lucky as I was, I could imagine who that person might be.

“C’mon, honey…” Steve’s voice had me freezing every single one of my muscles, as I refused to turn around and look at him. “You can’t pretend to be some innocent little thing while you’re wearing a dress like that.”

God, I wish I could puke. It was times like these where my pregnancy sickness didn’t appear and for once, I wanted it to. So maybe then I could paint his pretty face or at the very least, his expensive shoes in a pale yellow color and erase that smug look on his face.

I didn’t even have to look to know it was there.

Ransom’s P.O.V.

“You know, I could get used to seeing your skin this exposed…” I stopped dead on my tracks behind the couple I’d followed into the back exit. I’d looked for her everywhere ever since I arrived, she had to be there or I would start to think she had been playing a prank on me.

But seeing Y/N didn’t bring the relief I was expecting, because there was a man with her. And I didn’t know why the sight made my blood boil, but it did. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and so I stayed back in the shadows, contemplating just turning around and going back to my car, but I wanted to be sure of what was actually going on.

“It makes me think about what you’d look like naked.” I saw her shook her head, back still turned to the man behind her (and to me), but then his hands reached out and captured her waist, and I saw her flinch. 

“You look so hot, I want to take you right here in this back alley…”

“Steve, let me go.” At the sound of the disgust in her voice, I sprung into action, barely processing my own feelings or noticing how she was squirming in his hands as I hauled his body from hers. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I asked the guy, chest already heaving from anger. Beside me, Y/N looked scared, obviously startled at seeing me, and especially in this state. But I was too far gone to care.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” If I wasn’t so angry, maybe I would have considered the next words that fell from my lips. But my track record wasn’t the best, even in a calm mindset, so not even I believed I would have been able to hold back.

“I’m her man. She’s mine and she’s having my baby, so how about you back off?” A cold hand wrapped around my wrist had me snapping back into reality, looking down to see her staring at me with wide eyes. Oh, shit.

“What is he on about?” The man yelled, this time directing his words to Y/N, who very patiently turned to look at him and say, “Would you care to shut up?” Finally, seeing as he truly wasn’t going to have a chance with her, he decided to leave, huffing to himself the entire time.

“Y/N…” I started trying to explain myself, but she cut me off with a simple shake of her head.

“Not here, Ransom. Can you drive me home?” I closed my mouth and stared back at her, a feeling of defeat filling my chest before I finally nodded. It was the least I could do, after all.

We walked back into the bar together, and together we went to say goodbye to her friend, to whom she very quickly introduced me to. I could barely find it in me to smile at the woman, too busy beating myself up for my behavior tonight.

The drive back to her place was silent. I was wrecking my brain for what I could say to justify my behavior, but couldn’t find anything. I’d failed. I’d apologized to her only this morning, and now I’d already screwed up again.

Why should she want me around? I wasn’t even capable of being a good friend, much less an actual co-parent with her. How could she rely on me if I kept letting my most immature instincts take over?

I stopped the car in front of her building, still struggling with what to say, but to my surprise, she didn’t make any immediate movements towards leaving. It seemed as if she was lost in her thoughts too, and the idea that I might have the chance to change this gave me just the push I needed to say something.

“I’m sorry,” I spilled out, and her eyes darted up to meet mine, slightly wider than usual. “For overstepping. I-I don’t know what happened. I just saw you with him and you looked scared and I… God, you must hate me right now.”

I had to cover my face so I could concentrate, I could feel a headache coming. But just when all seemed lost, I felt a warm hand over my thigh, squeezing the muscle, calling for my attention.

“It’s alright, Ransom. This is new for me too.” I didn’t know relief could feel this relaxing. Finally finding the courage to look her in the eyes again, I chanced a small smile that she quickly reciprocated, her hand still connecting us.

“I- It was actually really nice to hear your voice when I thought I’d have to scream for help. You did good, you were… you were very good back there. Thank you.” Silence fell between us once again, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. For my part, I seemed to have forgotten how to speak. But she didn’t remain quiet for long.

“I just think we have to talk about what you said…” And that was all I needed to jump into explanation mode again.

“I know, I know. I don’t know why I said it. I didn’t mean it, obviously.” And to my surprise, she just smiled, not seeming bothered in the slightest by what I had done earlier that night.

“Believe it or not, I understand. I know I seem quick to jump into conclusions and that hasn’t been a good thing for our relationship so far… but this time I understand where you’re coming from.” It was a good thing that she did, I realized as she let go of my thigh to reach out for my hand instead. Because I had absolutely no idea why I’d said that she was mine. “But we do have to set some boundaries.”

I nodded, despite all of the confusing and conflicting emotions inside of me, starting with the feeling of warmth that appeared to be caused by her holding my hand. “You have to control yourself,” she continued, tone making it clear that she wanted me to give any sort of indication of my understanding of her words.

Deciding to hold back on the comment about how it was impossible, considering just the sight of her made me horny, I opted to go with a more mature, if slightly vulnerable response. “It’s not that easy… I don’t know how to keep those feelings in check. I’ve never felt them before.”

She nodded understandingly, and it didn’t seem patronizing. Before I could further clarify what I meant - or put my foot in my mouth, probably - she filled in the blanks for me. “The feelings of protectiveness.” My mouth opened as I almost let the wrong thing escape, but I reeled it in at the last second.

“Yeah…” I trailed off. “Let’s go with that.” She frowned before her eyes widened in surprise, but then she started laughing, although shaking her head at my antics.

“You’re too much, Ransom Drysdale.” But instead of saying it in a disappointed tone, she just leaned over the console and hugged me, taking me by surprise. I didn’t even have the time to enjoy it, because in seconds she had leaned back and was unbuckling her seatbelt so she could leave.

“Hey,” I called out for her attention, wanting to get one last word in before she left. “You do look extremely hot in that little dress of yours. I didn’t have the opportunity to tell you before.” She narrowed her eyes at my words, but pursed her lips at the same time, like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

“As charming as that is, I think it’s a bit too late for you to try to flirt with me. I’m already carrying your child, aren’t I?” My smile dropped immediately, heart pounding in my chest with fear at her words.

“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I…” but she cleared all of my worries with a single cheeky wink, making me chuckle in relief as I slumped back against the driver’s seat.

“Thanks. I wanted to take advantage of my body while it’s still like this.” I watched as she gathered her stuff to leave, mind travelling to the future and imagining all of the changes she would go through because of this pregnancy.

I decided not to tell her that just the thought of her larger belly and heavier breasts was enough to get me hard. This version of her body, as hot as it was, wouldn’t be missed by me.

“Oh, hey,” she stopped just before closing the door, biting her lower lip as she pondered over something. “I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?”

The warm feeling that had appeared when she held my hand spread over my chest as I excitedly grinned at the woman before me, taking notice of the way she smiled back just as eagerly. I couldn’t help but notice there was a little bit of relief in the way she let her breathing escape after my affirmative answer, too.

“Text me the details?” She nodded.

“See you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

I watched as she got safely inside her building, before finally allowing myself to think back on the events of the night - and particularly, on the way I felt seeing her in that dress, being touched by another man, and talking about the changes she feared she’d see in her body. One thing was perfectly clear to me then: being just friends with the mother of my child would be no easy task.


End file.
